Friday, April 15, 2011

Surviving the 2011 Brisbane Flood a lucky bastard's droll account part 1.





The Spring of 2010 was the wettest Spring in the hundred and eighty odd years since records have been kept in South East Queensland; that big river district which wedges to the sea from a sub-tropical corner of the Great Dividing Range.

February 3 of 2011 would end the Lunar Year of the Tiger.
My wife and I had planned to go to Viet Nam to celebrate the new Lunar Year with our two young children, my wife's parents, her dad's clan and our friends in the city of Nha Trang. Nha Trang is Viet Nam's equivalent of Australia's Gold Coast where you might find every man and their dog on holidays. It would be the Year of the Cat in Viet Nam, the Year of the Rabbit in China.
After the wet Spring in South East Queensland came a wet Summer, so wet so as to wash away the memories of a decade of drought. I was at work in the library, sheltered from the teeming rain and keeping an eye on the weather through the Bureau Of Meteorology site on December 23, and I noticed that a fortnight's more rain was forecast. I decided to buy my wife a clothes dryer as a Christmas present; imagine how grateful she would be despite my reckless spending; even through till January!

The children seemed to be enjoying the Big Wet as they call the Monsoon seasons Up North in places like Cairns, Tully and Innisfail.

I had engaged Lord Byron one of my son's nine year old friends from down the street to work on the little creeks that ran under my house. I named one of the rivulets that he helped me resuscitate the Lord Byron Canal. Lord Byron's dad was away in Afghanistan working in the Australian Army but Lord Byron was the most keen of my son's friends to engage with me in the adventure of my house and garden.

Huge floods hit town after town and city after city round Queensland and finally after a terrible torrent burled down the Range from the Darling Downs through the silt rich Lockyer Valley the flood waters visited South East Queensland.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Footnote to Fruits of Jindalee



I've recently been entertained via blogspot by nursemyra's reports about Steve McQueen's envy of Yul Brynner's pearl handled pistol and his larger horse in the Magnificent Seven as well as the posting of what the nurse claims is an Alaskan tattoo on what appears to be a naked but unacknowledged Sara Palin.
In my previous post I put an asterisk next the word "a-dult" meaning to footnote same with a story from my more youthful days in Canberra.
I think I was nearing completion of a bachelor's degree in that fair city (only about ten years after I began the degree) and I met a rather bold, young, italo-american woman from the Bronx.
I forget where we met but suffice to say there was some attraction between the pair of us and a red hot date was arranged. (I'm not sure if I was living in my tent in the woods at this time or in some other less than stable dwelling somewhere within walking distance of Gus's coffeehouse, the ANU Bar and the Chifley Library.)
The afternoon of the date I travelled to her house in the outer suburbs by bus instead of my usual form of transport in that city; the push-byke. (I had worked for Action Buses at times carrying suitcases of cash to pay the drivers. I knew the routes that these buses followed. I knew they were regular and reliable.)
I presented myself at the front door of what was probably the homestay of the brazen lass from the Bronx who reminded me a little of Sophia Loren, and Raquel Welch all rolled into one. I remember she was far more curvaceous and posty legged than the thinner local girls who I must admit I did adore. Maggie asked me, (oh what was her name?) as I darkened her door: "Where's your motor-car?"
I told her I didn't have one, to which the lady from the Bronx replied:
"What? You're an A-Dult male and you don't own a motor ve-hicle?"
I can't remember what happened next but I can tell you that it wasn't much.


Saturday, April 9, 2011

fruits of jindalee





I tell people at my local library where I work how fantastic the blogspot medium is. Although I only really follow one person's blog; or at least I think I follow it; indeed I just look at frequently. But it does give me pleasure seeing the literary rambles of a dear old friend who like me is nostalgic and likes to keep printed artefacts and is inclined to go out into irrational adventures within the confines of their own intellect and enjoys whispering the entertainment of these adventures to their friends. And I must admit I do enjoy viewing some of the pearls of knowledge exhibited by some of her blog's contributors. I tell people that the medium of the blogspot carries the new literary magazines.

I laughed the other day when my blogspot friend mentioned how her brother wondered why Colonel Gaddafi had still portrayed himself a Colonel and not gone onto some more glorious rank. The same thought had crossed my mind a few weeks before. Maybe he liks being a Colonel. Like the Gilbert and Sullivan character liked being the "very model of a modern Major-Gener-al"..."He is the very model of a modern Major-General" cried the chorus. I must admit when I saw some of the bling on the head of the AFP that he did look a bit like a Spanish or Italian gendarme.

I don't think I've worked out how to "follow" a blog nor "comment" with ease and haven't quite got the computing nouse to work out how to really rev around the medium. Scanning is still a bit of a struggle for me. I'm not exactly a whizz at the mechanical processes and find it difficult to work out which hotplate is which from the diagrams afforded us on our stove cook-tops. And I was never a wiz at spelling and the ability to write in a legible manner has always been beyond me. Striking a nail into wood is also a challenge. But I am working on improving my skills in these areas!

Above are some bananas from my garden which I just could not resist posting in response to my friend's posting of her aubergines. My wife sometimes cooks up aubergine (egg-plant) in some sort of Vietnamese dish; the recipe of which I would attempt to post if it wasn't one of the things that my dear wife keeps locked in the closet of her imperturbable intellect as she does the secrets of her first language. Below is a picture of the paw-paws in our garden.



Splicing sound tape, editing either film or video tape or even digital motion pictures on computer is also beyond me.

For years I couldn't even turn a computer on till one day about ten years ago I attended an Introduction to Computers class at the local library where I now work. I now teach the same class to people many of whom have difficulty grasping the mouse. (I must admit I did do some "post-graduate" computer learning work at TAFE with a group of people who had literacy problems or english as a second language. (I did let on I could read but made it known I was a computer illiterate) and I did attend a session in Viet Nam where the monitor seemed to be repeating regularly "A a driver" and "C a driver". I am still appalled by the language of computer functions. What has the word Firefox got to do with a thing that accesses the internet, what is an Outlook Express and what is microsoft!! How could they savage meanings the way they do?

Each time I come across another abomination of the english language tagged onto a computer function I feel sick (as does my friend z when she comes across a word which I immediately expunge from my memory banks because of it's lack of regard for the way things should be in our lovely language.) Computer manuals are unreadable.

Here at the house attached to the garden above I've convened a number of tutorials aimed at improving my computer literacy.
One of the tricks I've found is never allow the tutor to hold the mouse; another trick is to provide the tutor with a pointing stick.

My first tutor here at the place I like to think of as the Bangalee St Bibliotheque ( a branch of the Jindalee College of Advanced Education) (whatever was the matter with the idea of a College of Advanced Education) was my nephew who I had to train to do something else like whistle a tune or go out and make a cup of tea while the I, the student, bumbled through something. Eventually my nephew, Nicholas, had to leave the torture of having to teach his slightly slow Uncle about computers to work as a meteorologist in Tasmania; a position for which he'd spent decades studying.

The latest tutorial we have here involves three or four adults*. One is an I.T.master and the other two are learners. One of the learners is the wife of the I.T. master who the I.T. master would find difficult teaching at their home. Each person gets a turn at holding the mouse and the lesson starts with me as the prime student asking the tutor how things work or can work better on my computer an Imac (etym. shudder!). We also swap chairs as each learner teacher takes their turn at the mouse. And also enjoy nice lunches and morning or afternoon teas. Sometimes Albert, pictured below tries to muscle in on the class and push the buttons on the keyboard.
We do our best to resist his hedonism.